Ask me three-four months ago about how I spent my college life and if I'd miss it all.
I probably would've said, 'Nah. I'm fucking glad I'm getting out of this shit-hole sooner than expected.'
And a week later, I'd have had a fucking epiphany about how I viewed college, or rather my time in college.
So it was my birthday, late September, and like most college kids who celebrate their birthday these days, I decided to buy booze for all of my friends and watch them 'make merry'. Drove all the way to Pondicherry to buy around 3-4 cases of beer(If you lived in Chennai, you'd know why we drive 2.5 hours to Pondi to get booze). Got back around 9 or so, and we'd decided to drink it the next day, that is, on my actual birthday.
Everything started out fine, all of us started drinking a little(there were around probably 10 of us). As time went by, the beers started to decrease in number and our buzz started increasing bit by bit. Everyone was having a fucking good time, listening to music, engaging in pointless conversations. After a point of time we were pretty fucking drunk, and more and more of my department mates(whom I didn't know that well) started coming in, wishing me, and I'd offered them all the beer. And in a little bit, the new entries were piss drunk as well.
What followed were a few conversations(I don't remember EVERY WORD, though, given the situation) that I'd treasure for probably as long as I live.
Me and a few people from the neighbouring class, to whom I'd hardly ever talked in three years, started talking about how we're in adjacent classes and didn't have the fucking chance to get to know each other, because of our gloriously anti-social,hypocritical,cringe-inducing,fucking ridiculous department(yes, Engineering is like that. Anti-social would be a damn understatement). For god's sake, there still are people in the other class whose even names I don't know, a few bastards who actually hate me, for god knows what reason, and spread shit around saying that I'm an arrogant prick(OK, maybe I'm a little arrogant but they don't even fucking know me) and that I look stoned all the time. What the fuck kind of a reason is that to hate somebody? Looking stoned?
"Oh let's not talk to that guy, he looks stoned all the time. And I heard he is arrogant also, so yeah, let's tell that to everyone."
Fucking pricks.
Anyways, as the night went forward, the guys told me that maybe it'd been different if I was in their class, and that they wished that I was in their class and that they got to know me better. I'm not completely sure if that was them genuinely expressing their feelings or if it was the beer talking, but I'd like to believe that a man never lies when he's inebriated, especially not when they start weeping like five minutes later.
And I never really realized it, but I felt the same. I told them that. God damn it, it was fucking true. I never had the chance to get to know so many people, not only in college, but even otherwise. The animosity that people create between everyone else makes us all believe that the other person isn't worth talking to, or that he/she is a bad person. We miss out on getting to know some of the most wonderful people that we will never meet, and we rather get stuck with people we should've never met. Such is life.
College, though however cruel it might've been for me, to force me into forgetting my true passions and aspirations in life, bludgeoning me with things I could never hope to understand(the same things which a few people understand and are so unbelievably proud of it and spite others because of it), not letting me socialize with people I really wanted to meet, and a hundred other reasons that I regret for taking up engineering, has really taught me a lot of things.
I've met few of the best friends I'd ever have in college, but the only regret I have is that I hadn't met them earlier on, because of the same aforementioned reasons. Animosity, and unnecessary,unwarranted judgments. Of course I did have friends earlier on as well, but I didn't know what made them start hating me gradually, and eventually we grow apart probably serving to the best of our interests. I don't have anything against them or anyone for that matter, but my issue is that the same certain people came in the way(indeliberately, of course) of meeting and getting to know my real friends.
And honestly,these people would never measure up to be as loyal or as close to the friends I have now.
I don't have to pretend, or be formal, or hide anything from my friends. They accept me for who I am, and we'd probably do anything for each other. And seriously, fuck everyone who thinks otherwise/that they're too good for me. Keep judging, keep spreading shit, keep hating. Seriously, fuck you guys :)
If you think you're too good for me, you're probably better off amongst yourselves. Have a good life :)
What I considered as mundane earlier, will serve to be memories which are indelible, etched somewhere deep inside. It's said that you can never forget two phases of life : school, and college.
Because after this, it's just : the pressure of getting a job, working for a boss who's head you'd want to shot and whose wife you'd want to fuck, finding a mate, getting married, having those fucking annoying miracles of life called 'children', watching them grow up and tell you to fuck yourself, watch yourself getting thrown out of their lives, growing old, getting arthritis,saggy skin and boobs, losing your memory, becoming senile, and finally, the best part of all, dropping dead and ending your insignificant, worthless, piece-of-shit lives.
All this ^ would just remind you of a glorious time in the past when it was all about trying grades every now and then, meeting girls, making friends and having your own kind of fun and be accepted, no matter how weird you are.
Fist fights, politics, cigarettes at 3 am, bike rides on the highway to get those cigarettes, pointless conversations, grades, arrears, dealing with rejection, falling in love, insulting people, that first experience with drugs, sarcasm, playing cards, beer, whisky, white rum, running around from one wine shop to another to try and procure all this, road accidents, dealing with drunkards on the road, ragging the professors, making love for the first time, house parties, copying , getting caught for copying, bits, trading porn, movie marathons, dealing with pricks, scoring pot, drunken madness, puking, birthdays, losing friends, gaining friends, maintaining attendance, hustling, hostels, cigarettes during the lunch break, short break, any fucking break, avoiding people, ignoring people, watch people get hurt, get hurt yourself, instigate fights, break up fights, head-spinning brandy, horrible food, canteens, bunking, the old campus, the staff quarters, the flats, acquaintances, friends,foes,and all the people who I've met,seen,or have had the pleasure to have known in college...
I'll miss this. I'm really, genuinely gonna fucking miss all this, especially when I hear that bell tolling, the bell that warns of us of the treacherous, scum-filled, maggot-infested underbelly of life in the real world.
These four years, though however eventful/uneventful, were a lesson, a booze-fest, a 'roller-coaster ride', to put it in the cheesiest way I can.
This is purely dedicated to all those people I've met during college. It doesn't matter if we'd ever been friends. But in someway, you've changed my fucking life. I love you, and peace to all of you. May life be not as harsh on you.
Cheers,
Mango.
